Welcome to Heartsdesire

Welcome to my place! just wanted to share my art, my dogs and whatever else inspires me.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

My next big leap of faith

Ok, so I made a really big decision  a few weeks ago, after 3 years of doctor supervised weight loss without success I decided to undergo barbaric surgery.  I thought I was just over weight, unable to control my diet, unable to find the motivation to exercise. But in the past two weeks I have learned so much about (oh this is the hardest word to say!! but I have to, I have to say it, gulp, really big glup)  obesity.  I have found out there are reason why no matter how hard I diet that the weight I loose always comes back on. The goal before the surgery is to find out what those reasons are. 

One of the required test prior to surgery is to participate in a sleep study, so last night I spent the night at the Crouse Irving sleep study. I went into this thinking o.k. I know this is bunk, I don't have any problems sleeping. In fact, I get lots of sleep. I have always been a good sleeper, I can sleep a good eight to ten hours every night and if I don't get that much sleep I feel like crap and fair warning I'm a little bit on the nasty side. But the test is a requirement, so let's get it over with.

I spent an hour with the respiratory therapist answering questions, being measured and having wires attached to my head, neck, legs, chest and fingers. I didn't have any problem falling asleep, slept through the night without any problem. Then at 5am the therapist came in to wake me and said "wow did you have some really long dreams"  I looked at her astonished, how did she know that? Because, I do, man do I ever, and I did. So the therapist went on to tell me that I must have set a record for rem. not just one but 2 periods of rem that were both about an hour long, the longest she had ever seen anyone have. I also had a couple instances of apnea, but what was problematic was that during this time I was "hypopnea" which is long periods of very shallow and slowed respiration with decreased oxygen saturation levels.  My levels were down into the 80's. (not good, not good at all) O.k. no wonder I feel so tired all the time, I'm not getting the oxygen I need to rejuvenate. And to my friend Patty who frequently shares a hotel room with me at dog shows, this is also the reason that I snore worse after I have had a beer or two. The alcohol relaxes my already compromised respiratory system.

Ok so how does this relate to my weight? Well that is a question for me to ask Dr. Cooper next time I see him. But from the research I have done today low oxygenation effects metabolism, energy levels, brain function, muscles and so much more. Studies are also showing that sleep issues are one of the many causes of obesity not obesity causing sleep issues.

So that's the second of  my tests, the first were the 6 tubes of blood for a plethora of tests. Yet to come is cardiology, don't know how their gonna do that according to some I have no heart :p but I guess that will be my opportunity to prove them wrong.

There are reasons why people gain weight. Reason most people that have been thin all their lives will never understand. But the best part of having a blog is that I can express my opinion and for what it is worth here it is. Please the next time you meet someone that is over weight please treat them as you would want to be treated. Don't make weight an issue. Please don't place blame or make the individual feel shame. Don't giggle or make jokes at their expense and don't leave them out of friendship.  Blame, shame and embarrassment create depression which only leads to the need for comfort which for some is food. Make them feel love, friendship, inclusion, respected, pride in themselves and worthy of all life has to give. This is what everyone needs to feel good about themselves, it's the tools in life for happiness.  It's the tools everyone needs for self improvement. 

So my journey continues to a healthier, stronger, better me. The rest of 2012 isn't going to be boring that's for sure.  My goal, is to be healthy and next year to be able to run around the show ring with my boy kegger and together win a few purple ribbons!


  1. What a sweet post. Good luck on your journey. I will be following!

  2. Thank you!! it should be interesting